Fear for Freedom

I watch the news and roll down my facebook news and I see our freedoms disappearing as fast as my child can lick the scoop of ice cream from the top of the cone.  Everyday some new law is born to restrict our movements in some arbitrary way.  Even being poor can be a crime in this country and especially so if you have children.  If for some reason you lose your job or lose your home, you can also lose your children.  It's a nightmare that millions of parents in this country are now facing as the economy and inflation goes from bad to worse.

No one knows the true amount of children who are hiding out in cars when darkness falls.  Their terrified parents searching for a place to park where they won't be discovered by authorities who will falsely accuse them of being less than upstanding citizens.  The stigma of homelessness has been in place ever since the war on poverty began and welfare reform made it nearly impossible for most families to comply with the increasing intrusiveness of the state.  School records, immunization records, even mandatory medical examinations are thrust upon the unsuspecting welfare recipient.

Personally, I do not take welfare though many a well meaning friend has suggested that I should.  I have as yet never put my child to bed hungry.  I will go to a food bank if I need to and I'm always ever the creative when it comes to feeding my children.  I also do not send my children to school but prefer instead to be the sole charge in their education.  Is it easy?  No, it is becoming increasingly hard to find work and childcare at the same time though my profession would necessarily have me working the night shift anyway.  A lack of sleep for working all night only to come home to tend to my children has occasionally left me open and vulnerable for the common cold and flu.  Even then I manage to survive.  Interestingly, even though I would not hesitate to use the local hospital if I felt my child was in danger of extreme illness requiring medical intervention, I'm astonished by the fact that not one of my three children has had even so much as a cold in more than two years.

That said and worried as I am for the recent developments in our failing income level, my children can testify to the fact that we have had adventures that most families only dream about.  This year we passed through the Grand Canyon and last year had us for a month in Hawaii.  We've also had occasion to play with the most diverse set of kids one might never come across if you only lived in one place and only associated with the localized populace.

Still, there can lurk a certain uneasiness and a sense that I may have to defend myself for living a less than conventional lifestyle.  My own family has criticized me for not implementing some kind of severe punishment oriented discipline to handle misbehavior but I won't and never will.  Punishment doesn't work to teach tolerance and compassion if anything it creates an unhealthy resistance to resist against and yet for those in government, the poor are an easy target for hostility and so are their children.  I once heard it said that single mothers raised more criminals than any other family unit and yet for the poor mothers forced to accept welfare, studies show that single mothers don't actually raise their children because they are too busy working for minimum wage while the state pays for their children's care first busing them to school at 7am and then shipping them off to the after care program after that.  On average a poor working single mother might have a mere three hours a day with her child during the week and even less than that on the weekends.

When I had a job, I worked graveyard so I was gone while they were sleeping.  When I got home I would sleep three hours then get up and be with them.  Later I would take another nap for an hour or two but even if I was sleeping, I was there.  I would sleep while the children gathered around me working on their computers or watching a movie.  Now that I am once again unemployed, I stay with my children round the clock.  I would not have it any other way.  I am not looking to go out and get away from them for any reason.  Some parents claim they need a break from their children.  They need time to themselves.  That is why you hear some parents exclaim they can't wait for school to start up again in the fall after having to be with their children all through the summer months.

If you are right with yourself, you won't need to escape from the presence of your own children.  I take some time while they are sleeping either late at night or early morning to meditate and get in touch with the part of me that is also you.  Children need the love of their parents or in my case, parent, at all times.  I don't need to punish them for asking for my attention which is where all misbehavior stems from.  It's at those times that I need to be with my children heart and soul.  I need to see and hear them without interference of thoughts, worries, or judgments.  We will make it through this world.  I will find a job or I won't.  One thing is for certain, we will have love that will never sour or die.

That is my promise to my family.  I will give you all that I have and what I don't have I will find and fulfill from my connection to all that is.  The world is an open book.  We will read it together.